One of the reasons I love living in Denver so much is my ability to hop on a bike and pretty much go anywhere. Today I rode with a friend up the Cherry Creek path. It was a very nice ride. We stopped at Daz Bog for coffee and goodies. The path was covered with the white fluff the cottonwoods give up. It was so thick in spots, it looked like it was snowing. It was a pretty good ride.

One thing I’ve noticed over the past couple of weeks is the number of people tooling along on the trail with earbuds in. I have an iPod, and I love it. One thing I don’t do with it is ride. The reason I don’t is because it’s rude and it’s dangerous. I passed a guy today. I came up on him and yelled at him (cause I saw his earbuds) “On your left.” He started to drift over so I screamed at him, “On your left!!!” Still he drifted. My bars cleared his by a bare half inch. He then started mouthing off.

I, being the gentleman that I am, flipped him off. He was offended. I know iPods are cool, I know the ability to access your music pretty much anywhere is cool. I had an iPod when you were still in diapers. Riding with an iPod is a seriously bad idea. Not only can you not hear the person coming up on you, even when they are screaming at you, but you seem to develop an attitude like you are the only person on the planet.

My solution…

I’m taking the riser bars off and putting the straight bars back on. I’m also putting on some bull moose bar ends, except I will rename them “retard bumpers”. If you are so self involved that you can’t turn down the music enough to tell whats going on (I doubt you could hear me anyway with all of the wind noise those things generate), I’m not going to worry about hitting you. I’ve got some serious curve on those bar ends, excuse me — retard bumpers, and I’m not going to be shy taking a clean line past you. I’m pretty sure I won’t hook you and I’m pretty sure those bumpers will be enough to ward you off if I give a good lean in.

So, ditch the headphones and earbuds and pay attention to what is going on. If not and you get all squirrely and self involved out there, the retard bumpers will win.